Happiness is.....

                                                                       Photo by Lidya Nada on Unsplash

Happiness is a simple word. It may seem light and sweet but to most of us, it's pretty elusive and fleeting. So what makes the feeling of happiness so hard to find, maintain or even to savor? I know a friend who cannot simply bask in a moment of happiness just because of his belief that sorrow comes right after it. Wow, I am dumbfounded. How has everybody become so cynical about happiness and not just embrace the happy feeling NOW rather than think of "what's next?" I think it's sad. Not to belittle his feelings but it made me understand deeper people's notions about happiness. It maybe a past experience, a childhood trauma or better yet, sometimes the unbelievable standards of what Happiness should look like.

To most of us, happiness is an achievement of one's goals. Ergo, major milestones readily come to mind. Graduating with honors, a new car, getting married, having your first baby, a bigger salary, getting that farm house for retirement, a European cruise and all those "big time" achievements that we have to work hard for. It's monumental and worth celebrating honestly. I congratulate you! But at the back of my head, maybe that's why we are exhausted all the time. Grinding to chase those goals can really get the best of us. Especially if you think that is what Happiness is - in a cookie-cutter kind of way. 

The state of happy is oftentimes linked to how successful you are and there lies the problem. Tangible manifestations of success are the norm and what your family and friends judge you with. Acquisition has become a gauge of happiness. Acquiring something or someone suddenly is like what brings you joy? But as mentioned by Fumio Sasaki in his wonderful book "Goodbye, Things"- the euphoria or ecstasy felt from personal achievement like winning a championship game only lasts for 6 hours? I believe buying something you’ve always “wanted” also has that waning excitement factor. That’s because we get used to things. The next thing you know, you are looking for a different thrill/thing.

So which me leads me to a simple conclusion. Happiness is being in a state of gratefulness of what you have and where you are. 

We forget that Happiness is predominantly made of the little things too. Waking up early to a refreshing cup of coffee. Your dog snuggling with you. Cozying on a comfy chair for reading. Talking to strangers while you walk. A warm smile. Lunch with a friend. A great conversation. A new veggie dish you created. A hobby project you finally finished. The car freshly washed. Your living room sparklingly mopped. Those little things are what Happiness is made of. Pandemically speaking, suddenly everybody's homebound most times and we rediscover that sense of joy in the seemingly mundane or plain but “life enhancing”. Happiness is simple after all, if we change our thoughts about it and not be dictated to by family or society. Happiness are from those intangibles. Not stature, not what your hard earned money can buy, not that latest upgraded gadget nor it is that house you’re painstakingly planning for. When all the “newness” fades, we are left with an inner void that only self-care & human relations can fill.

                                                                                                                                                                                Photo by Edu Lauton on Unsplash

Stop being hard on yourself. Choose to be grateful. Know what your happiness points are. 

I hope this journey of “seeking happiness” ends soon, for you and be changed to "becoming happy".  

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Tell me, when do you feel the happiest?